Stories
Darren
‘I was shamed. I was told that I will turn into a paedophile [and] grow up to have sex with young boys. And that my spirit was weak. It was very traumatic. I was pinned down and people were praying over me, cupping the side of my head, [they] shouted at me to get the demons of possession out of me. I was shaking and thought it was working.’
Darren Tan, a 28-year-old gay man from Johor, went through repeated exorcisms in two churches over a period of months at age 15.
‘I was shamed. I was told that I will turn into a paedophile [and] grow up to have sex with young boys. And that my spirit was weak. It was very traumatic. I was pinned down and people were praying over me, cupping the side of my head, [they] shouted at me to get the demons of possession out of me. I was shaking and thought it was working.’
After a lack of “progress,” Darren’s mother tried another church, where the exorcisms continued. At this point, Darren said, ‘I thought to myself if God let me die, I will happily take it.’ He began to experience suicidal ideation:
‘The ceiling of the school hall. I would be there. It had a railing. I have fantasised [about] committing suicide there. The thought of Hell overpowered me. There were times standing on the roadside, [when] I daydreamed about running into a car.