Stories

Sonia, a trans woman, revealed that she ‘changed’ her gender expression to avoid arrests and advises others like herself to do the same. She said, ‘I used to meet the trans women communities. I said to them, I used to be a trans woman too. Do you believe me? But why can I wear a songkok (a cap worn by Muslim men) now? I am not forcing you to change because the heart cannot be coerced. But, change, don’t be a woman. Otherwise, they will catch you and put you in prison.’

Sonia also shared that she was subjected to conversion practices through one-on-one classes with the ustaz (religious teacher) in school and was later arrested and harassed by the religious authorities as an adult. She continues to battle with depression and suicidal ideation, ‘Of late, I feel there is a tiny voice that says, “You are living a useless life. What is the purpose of you living? What for?” The voices are there every now and then, and making me ask myself, “Do people like me deserve to live in this world? Should I just die?” When I think about death, I can’t imagine it. I don’t know what my life will be after I die.’

Source: Justice for Sisters. (2021). Freedom of Expression and Transgender Women in Malaysia